The Conviction of your Independence
The constant seeking of a balance between independence and liberty from tyranny has been the Southern Cameroons freedom fighter’s unavoidable burden and boon. One suspects that to them, independence means courage and responsibility. It means doing things not monitored by fear, but out of conviction. Man’s sense of integrity is noticed when fear has no space in his heart. Little wonder that Peter affirms: “I saw the Lord before me always, for with him at my right hand nothing can shake me.” (Acts 2:14,22-33). This is the conviction of a freedom fighter. Independence does not question. It does not say, why? Any such skepticism is betrayal. The Questioning is somebody who is still disbelieving and cynical.
Disbelief is the biggest obstacle of a liberation movement.
It is not a bad thing as such to ask questions, nor to seek to be clarified. But such questions should take the name of examination and not questioning. In fact we cannot without silliness call ourselves at once examiners and skeptics. Those who believe for example that the independence of the Southern Cameroons looms large and seek to be clarified on some things are examiners into that cause. Some people have denied within them the truth of independence before questioning it. Their questions are clouded with dark clouds, clouds that are impossible to disappear because they are stubborn on their stand. I therefore hold that a true Southern Cameroonian is either penetrated into the truth about his sovereignty or he is not. He is allowed to examine, and he is fake if he examines by questioning the country’s autonomy. The assent to the idea of sovereignty becomes a conviction, a belief. It fires the soul. It entices feeling. It warms our hearts. It enlightens the mind. It emboldens the will. This is conviction – conviction in the sovereignty of a constituted people. When I see my fears starve to death, that moment I have unbending conviction.
Conviction is saying stop to worries.
Conviction is not success. It is the power to fail without losing the ground under your feet. Conviction is a stonework of a wall against the flood waters of despair. Conviction is accepting I can’t control everything – that I can throw myself on Someone’s shoulders and say take it all. It is God’s whisper to man to the effect that he is there for him. It is the moment you say with saint Paul I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me. No matter how much your soul is shattered, you will not surrender.
Conviction tolerates what is, conviction is uncomplaining in moments of teething trial, conviction throws itself completely in the hands not only of the future, but on to God. The resurrection message to the apostle was ‘peace’, ‘peace I give to you’. And next to peace, was: ‘fear not’. When we believe God, he puts his peace in our hearts. And it is the only one thing – God – that remains when conviction looses friends and popularity.
To be continued
Father Gerald Jumbam
kumbo Diocesan Priest