Another presidential circus is coming to town. President-for-life Paul Biya will run against himself – again. The outcome is a forgone conclusion. Biya will defeat Biya for another seven-year-term.
Unashamed, a few political entertainers will join the circus. Most will be bribed to do so. All will be officially encouraged and funded (or is it bribed?) to do so.
The line-up of wannabe clowns is already long. It includes (who else?) a few deserving sons of their fathers. Who else could be better at changing the Cameroons than one of the sons of our Cameroonian gods?
That is why citizens who will participate in this circus will get a chance to elect – scratch that! – Citizens will get a chance to select from a menu that includes a Biya son and a Muna son. Sorry to disappoint, but some sons are not ready for this round yet. Those include a Yang Jr., a Cavaye Fils, an Ahidjo reincarnated, a Musonge reborn, etc.
Children breastfed on the public dime; kids born with a golden spoon in their mouths; and raised on the blood of martyrs and the proceeds of the corrupt regime their fathers not only built but never found fault with are now offering to inherit the circus.
That has to be the qualification brandished by Biya’s out-of-wedlock son, who says he, too, is in the running. Not to be outdone, Barrister Akere Muna, is on the starting blocks, too. Both have their own political parties, I suppose, of which they are also its nomination and elective conventions. It’s the circus, for crying out loud!
Whatever entertainment Biya Fils eventually offers citizens of #Colonial Cameroun is their cup of tea. I’m only concerned with what the able Muna Son is likely to offer. And I’m finding out that he could perfect plenty of what Old Man Muna started. There is such a thing as the “Son of the Father” fulfilling the redemptive will of the father!
For starters, there is a family name to resurrect from the dust of history in which the late Pa Muna buried it. The old man, we are told, was one of the biggest traitors of the Southern Cameroons’ struggle for statehood. Now – that’s what I’d call a big mess. That’s exactly the kind of mess you need a lawyer son to repair.
If it is, indeed, true that Pa Muna (God rest his soul) betrayed, sealed and delivered West Cameroon to Ahmadou Ahidjo, how can any reasonable person blame his son for seeking to deliver Ambazonia to Biya, Ahidjo’s not-so-illustrious successor? A son has got to do what a son has got to do, right?
Forget the jealousy that has some columnist like yours truly claiming that Pa Muna raised his family on the 13 pieces of silver Ahidjo paid. If it was the fruit of corruption, the son, who is somewhat an anti-corruption tsar would have found all that out by now. The son would have reported daddy to Transparency International and the African Union would have peer reviewed former National Assembly speakers, don’t you think?
As someone would ask: what do I know?
To Pa Muna’s discharge – even if he waited until Mister Death was already knocking on the front door of the palace at Ngembu – even if Pa Muna literally waited to be in his “dying bed”, he mustered the courage and humility to apologize for the treasonable offenses that he confessed as having enslaved Ambazonia. The son is still awaiting his own conversion. He awaits an epiphany, on his own Road to Damascus.
Seriously, don’t you just think Barrister Akere Muna must believe that his father (poor Pa Muna!) overplayed his hand by apologizing? What exactly did Pa Muna do wrong again?
That is why you have to admire Barrister Akere Muna’s skills at returning to collect the debt we must owe his family. In Round One with big brother, Barrister Ben Muna, running the collection agency, you fellows did not pay up. You were begging for what you are about to receive. Barrister Akere Muna is back for Round Two of the bloody sacrifice. And God knows he thinks we owe an apology of our own. How could we be threatening to yank the golden spoon from their mouth? What happened to the son not only succeeding the father but even doing better than the father?
The son has done well, but not exactly well enough – if you get what I mean. One of the son’s day jobs, I am reliably informed, was/is to serve as counsel for #Colonial Cameroun – as in lawyer for life-president Biya bi Mvondo. Check out who was in the team of lawyers against the case before the African Court in Banjul, The Gambia, in Southern Cameroons, Gumne Kevin & Others Versus #Colonial Cameroun. Holy smoke! Don’t tell me the learned lawyer is going to be revealing information obtained as part of the attorney-client relationship! That would violate a few ethics rules at the Bar Association, right? No wonder why he is already looking for a job elsewhere… such as at Etoudi Palace!
France, did you copy? Barrister Akere Muna is asking if you hear him now. As his father would say: “aberre connection?”
As presidential wannabe, Barrister Akere Muna seeks to quench a thirst he has had long before Big Brother Ben stepped out of the shadows to demand it 25 years ago. Small Brother played by the rules in a land where age determines who eats the gizzard or who breaks the kolanut. This moment fulfils the prophesy in the “Ripened by Age Bible” that proclaims “The Young Sgall Grow”.
While Ambazonians are listening, let me say this: Barrister Akere Muna is, in effect, taking back any apology tendered by his father. You heard right even if it feels like the son is pissing on his own father’s tomb. What business did Pa Muna have apologizing to slaves?
The very learned Akere Muna, who (as the “son of his father”) was able to skip certain academic requirements in order to be admitted into the University of Yaounde (Ekema is not alone, it seems…), but I digress. The very learned lawyer, I was saying, now considers that his father did not enslave Ambazonians enough. That’s why he is running to set the record straight.
You have to be wicked to disagree, all you these witches of Ambazonia! Look – there is only so much Pa Muna could have done as a mere Speaker of the National Assembly. Give his son the presidency – “aberre presidency?” – and, game over!
Give the son the power which the father only dreamt about, and not only will Ambazonia be delivered… did you copy, France? Give the son the power the father would have apologized to Ahidjo for merely dreaming of holding and not only the Hon. Augustine Ngom Juas of this world will die prematurely, everyone who dares to say the Cameroons – with an S – is not “one, and indivisible” will hang from a tree.
Give the son the powers that Pa Muna only wished he had and, like the Son of God, this second coming of another Muna will perfect the sacrifice the French cannot wait to receive at their altar at the Elysee Palace. And, while Barrister Akere Muna has the attention of Kingmaker France, I guess he wants Paris to know that the son will make amend for the grave wrong that Pa Muna did to La Republique and to France by apologizing just before returning to his Creator.
Did I hear someone sigh: like father, like son?
By Ntumfoyn Boh Herbert (Yindo Toh)
Editorialist – BaretaNews